Tag Archives: healing

Breaking my Ego, Mending my Sole

2 Jan

Something I was extremely passionate about was taken away from me recently. Running was my life for the last two years. I had run two half-marathons last year, which unfortunately took a toll on my body. The doctor said “You may like running, but your body doesn’t.” That was hard to hear. After numerous doctor’s visits, MRIs, and x-rays, he told me that I had a severe case of tendinosis in my right foot and that it would be a long road to recovery.

When I found out that I had to stop running last year I knew I’d be able to run again, but I also knew that it would be long enough without running that I started to have a pity-party for myself. I did everything right with training – I didn’t pack on too many miles at once and followed the schedule, I ate healthy, and I cross-trained (not as much as I would have liked, but I did it). I liked running, but my body didn’t. That was so hard to grasp. I went to physical therapy, have worn a brace, and took steroids to alleviate the pain. More than two months later and I still have to rest and not run – doc’s orders.

Thanks to my uplifting friends, family and husband, and their encouraging words, I started to look on the positive side of things after a few weeks of no running. I focused on cycling, Jillian Michael’s DVDs (man, those are hard), and yoga. I spent time with my husband exercising, instead of running with my friends or solo. It’s still hard to believe that I can’t even run every once in awhile, but I’m slowly getting over my ego and trying to be more upbeat about my workout regime.

I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason. I believe that not being able to run for a few months is giving me the opportunity to bond with my husband and to work on not only strengthening my body, but also my mind and soul.

I observed some people at the gym today. One had a diet coke on her bike, another was cycling barefoot, an older lady was reading a book while cycling at a slow pace, and several exercisers were glued to The View. As I was cycling at my max level without my heart jumping out of my chest, judging watching them, negative thoughts went through my head wondering why my feet couldn’t be hitting the pavement at this moment instead of being enslaved to the static bike. This is where I had to turn up my music and peddle faster. Even though these other people in the gym didn’t seem to be pushing themselves to the limit, I was going to give it my all. And I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and other people – maybe this was the other gym members’ way of getting off the couch and feeling good about themselves. Who am I to judge? I started off as a walker and I need to remember that. This injury is bringing me back to my roots and keeping me grounded.

Have you ever experienced something like this that was earth-shattering at the time, but then you realized why it happened in the end?

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